Children with anxiety

Tips on relaxation and dealing effectively with fears

Parents who have children with anxiety ask does hypnosis work?

Yes, relaxation hypnosis does work with children.

Children are always in a suggestible state. There are some things you can do to help him/her.

There is hope.

Once you have evaluataed weather or not your child needs medical intervention with a professional and have taken the necessary steps to ensure your child's out of harms way, your can begin to teach your child relaxation techniques.

It is best to begin when she is already in a relaxed stress free state.

I would start with noticing how he copes with his anxiety.

Does he watch t.v. or play video games?

Is he quiet and relaxed while on a computer or does he/she like to play with toys that are tactile? Such as trucks or remote control cars or the like.

Begin by noticing how he currently gets safe and approach him there .

Let him talk about what ever is on her mind at the moment and spend some time validating her sense of comfort while you are taking time together.

You might try something like:"I noticed that you are having fun and feeling safe while we are sitting here and you are playing da da da "

Then role model your feelings of your fear about his anxiety and how you feel good about him being in a safe place right now.

This teaches him it is o.K. to feel healthy fear.

"I feel scared about how you sometimes are afraid, and it feels good just sitting here with you while we are both safe and I like that."

This will also relieve his anxiety that you are judging him

Then let him talk or be quiet and play (this may be her way to cope). Sometimes children with anxiety will feel fear when you mention it and the idea is to let him cope and feel safe through the interaction.

Once he does this on his own while in a safe place he is learning how to deal with a small manageable dose fear and still be in a comfort zone.

After a few time of success she will have something in her mind to transfer into a real world situation. It is a tiny foundation stone that will grow over time.

Be Aware of what happens

If he begins to process (get up set or cry ) you now know it is o.k. for him to react to his fear , so you are in essance helping your children with anxiety see you deal with your own anxiety about thier anxiety in a healthy way.

In this way so you can be in his fear with him and let him get to the place of trust with you being o.k. with his feelings.

What ever feelings they are - most kids will blame a parent for their feelings. If this happens she is trying to find a safe place to vent, try not to take anything she says personal ( for most it is easier said then done so be patient with yourself.

Remember Forgive yourself if you fail by getting upset. Just take a deep breath and remember that it's not the only opportunity you will have to allow for this type of positive interaction and know that you can try again on another day.)

If it goes well and you are able to stay calm

( I suggest counting to 25 AFTER your child stops crying or screaming and venting...it is very important to not INTERRUPT and try to fix itjust let them FEEL..... then count to 25 as you listen to the silence.. she may begin again or find a solution to what ever is troubling her).

Let him know you are a safe place he can come to to process, tell him you may not have to have all the answers, but you can listen and your learning to trust that your child's feelings are o.k. yourself.

Children are so forgiving so I think it is o.k. to let them see the real you.

One tip I like is when he 'out of control' by talking back or crying or screaming is to ALWAYS count to 25 in your mind before you respond.

Children with anxiety are often so scared of their own feelings of fear that when they are in touch with it they may need a parent there to just be in it with them.

If he cries let him, pat his back and comfort him in any way you know he will feel comforted.

If he wants space give him some. This may lower his / her anxiety. Let him know with body language (caring look of concern not anger) that it is safe.Safe for him to Feel. Safe to talk. Safe to Trust.

Validate his attempts at handling his fear by zoning out on games and other stuff. Let him know that sometimes you zone out as well... Do some writing and journling to figure out how you zone out.

Then if it goes well and he is receptive you can let him know that although zoning has its time and place we must begin to tell the difference between real fear and imagined fear...count to 25.

Let him state that he figured out that cars in the street, are a real fear if you can.If he doesn't say it himself, begin talking to him about what your fears are, about the cars in the street.

A good way might be to pose a question" Did you notice how I handled my fear when I saw you go into the street when you were afraid of the dog that day?" his response....da da da you did this or that..... your response is back in your feelings.. remember count to 25 = Safe to talk. you may respond with something like" yes, I was really scared....."

Let him tell you what he perceived you did right or wrong. Don't argue with what he thinks if you disagree just let it go ----the long term goal is to build trust..

So validate his perceptions: "Yes, it seems to you I was being mean when I yelled at you and that scared you more, no wonder its hard for you to trust that we are going to be o.k. sometimes, Your really honest. Thank you." count to 20.. let him talk some more.

You might ask him if he thought you handled your fear well.

What he might have done, weather it would have been the same or different and weather or not it would have been a good way to react to fear.

Maybe you might have him pretend it was his brother or sister or something he feels he has power over such as pet that was in the same type of danger and ask how he may have like to handle it...

Children with anxiety are great at picking up labels others may attach to their anxiety so you can even turn this around - Let him know that you think he is "Courageous" ( a suggestion) and that there is no such thing as courage without fear.

For example you could say..."It doesn't take mush courage to eat your favorite ice cream or do things your not afraid of." It took courage to go to school toady even though your were afraid of this or that you did it! ... I believe you have courage now!

Ritual and Relaxation tips for bedtime

Begin to relax him before bed at night. Let him get comfortable, turn on some relaxing music and let him "get comfortable and relaxed and in a imaginary safe place somewhere in nature... that is a totally safe... and peaceful place.

Say:You can be there alone or have a special guide that protects you.

This guide could be a pony, a stuffed toy, a spiritual figure what ever you like. Talk slowly in a soothing voice.

You can just say it like that while he is drifting off to sleep. Let your voice be quiet and comforting. Keep referring to the safe things your child clings to in stress, toys or bears, blankets, or what ever is comfortable for them.

Say pretend you are comfortable and safe. let your toes relax...ect.

Hypnosis done by you in this manner at night for anxiety is very effective because it allows him to feel his feelings and have them validated by the person he wants to trust more then himself -you- his role model and parent.

I would not suggest doing this in a forceful way, if they say "no" or tell you to "stop making them do this" stop right away. Give them their space immediatly, sit quietly with them if they will let you.

...By listening to some of the sessions you will also get the idea. Take time out for a free session to get a wonderful idea of what I am referring to.

Check out my competition as well- hey there is lots of great stuff out there!

My feeling is with all the negative media your child will be exposed to- why not throw in as many positive reinforcers as you can get your hands on while they are still in the nest.

So see if you can find some and listen to them to make sure they are relaxing to you.

Children with anxiety love to see you reaching goals .. make it a goal to teach relaxation by role modeling it to him as much as possible." I am going to get relaxed and read a book or listen to some music ", or what ever you do to unwind

" I'll be back in ten minutes..... Now is the time for me to Zone".

Keep in mind they are watching you every day and they are learning about how to handle stress by your reactions to the stress in your life.

Many of you reading this may feel this doesn't apply to you, and that you have a handle on your stresses and fears, this may be true,.

Yet children with anxiety may benefit from seeing a concrete example on how to do it in simple enough ways for them to put into practice.

Second guilt about your reactions to your child's unwillingness to be in certain situations is to be expected.

It's not easy to always have the right answers and if their condition has been going on for a while you probably have unwillingly been pulled into their drama at various times.

It is obvious that you care because you are seeking information.

If you forced your child to do something against their will in an effort to help them overcome fears it probably has not worked.

Chances are looking back you see now that it only made things worse.Beating yourself up about that is, believe it or not, more common than you think.STOP.

As a matter of fact so many parents feel stuck by this kind of guilt that they are left to try to rectify their actions by attempting to MAKE it work.

In the long run it turns into a power struggle and no one wins. This is the often long and empty road to power tripping parenting.

The way that plays out is another chapter titled "parent confrontation day at the adolescent drug treatment centers"

The important thing to remember is there is no need to continue to feel guilty for trying.

You may have been unaware in the beginning that this condition was going to require some help from someone other than you.

Now that you are aware of that you can begin to forgive yourself for not having all the right answers all the time.

Quite frankly no parent really does.

You can just ask the children of us experts! If my daughters would allow I would insert her email address here and she would validate this I am certain.

I believe it is about writing a book on parenting as each challenge arises and staying open to new ideas and solutions that fit each child. For every child born a new book could be written.

Some parents feel inadequate and overwhelmed by all this that adds to the anxiety already in the family..so , remember none of us can make the world stop turning for our children even if we would like to have that power.

Just knowing that can sometimes help lower your stress level. The other thing to keep in mind is that you can benefit greatly from getting the support you need.

It may be new for you as a parent to help your child distinguish between real threats and imagined fears.

And as with so many things, when something is new to us, we simply must be gentle with our selves as we learn new skills in dealing with the situation.

You DO deserve that extra self care that is sometimes missing in addition to the fact that you have to take on more response- ability to your child's condition.

Even if it seems impossible to fit it in- take care of yourself and give yourself as much peace and calm as YOU can because in the long run, your child always benefits when your are stronger and more balanced in your life.

A hypnosis session designed to let go of stress would help you as well. Stay open to possibilities and don't be shy about getting, and asking for referrals, or support. Check out what your community offers in the way of support groups.

Some parenting classes are now offering solutions that you may not have heard of.

Check out the stress sights for info on how to best get what you need to. One of the best ways to help children with anxiety happens as the parents learn new ways of relieving your anxiety.

Thank you for taking time to view my site and trusting me with giving you advice for your child's well being.

Thanks for visiting and Make a great day.